If clients feel better after talking to you, while you feel much worse. If you find yourself ruminating on your clients’ issues – even though you rationally know there is no point to this. If you sense what is up with someone before they walk through the door or pick up the phone… you may be more than simply “caring”.
Feeling called to help others often has to do with personal life experience. More so than that, you may find that you have always been “that person”. Even when you felt tired or lost or discouraged yourself, people still want to talk to you to share their troubles.
When you are able to shake off your client’s problems at the end of a session, then you’re ready to work with the next client. But what if you struggle to let go?
Being a professional, chances are you’ve tried all kinds of things. If despite setting boundaries, taking some time to clear your head and talking yourself out of worrying, you still find yourself “stuck” with a host of feelings and pains that don’t seem to be yours, it’s time to check whether more might be going on.
You see – and I know this makes no sense psychologically – it’s possible that you are communicating and connecting with clients not just on a psychological level, but also on an energy level.
If you can sense where someone is at without them saying anything and if you magically seem to know just what to say or do, even if you barely know someone…chances are you are communicating with someone on an energy level.
Now, this can be an amazing gift and ability to have. The problem is though that energetically – you might be wrapped up in conversation with a client long after they left your office.
So while you are diligently wrapping up and letting go of the session, a subconscious part of you may still be 100% engaged and connected to your client.
How many clients do you have? Imagine having them all in one room and all of them talking at you at the same time. That would be overwhelming wouldn’t it?
Yet, that is exactly what can happen with energy sensitive practitioners. It’s why clients’ issues can seem to “pile up” inside of you, even when you take a few days off and don’t see anyone.
If this is you, it’s important to learn how to handle this gift so that you can really let go and don’t end up working with clients for free, after hours. (Because that’s what happens when you don’t have the needed inner tools to fully let go, you end up working through client problems long after they’ve left your office!)
You only have so much to give and it’s important to have boundaries on all levels, also energetically.
Having those energetic boundaries in place is better for your clients too! When you’re overburdened it’s harder to give them the space, presence and attention they need.
Plus, even though people might like to offload their problems onto you, it doesn’t really solve those problems, does it?
That would be like saying: “oh no, you got a C on your essay and feel bad? Here, let me take that C away!” – But they still don’t know how to write a good essay, and without the “feeling bad” probably won’t bother to learn! (“I feel better, thanks! No need to work on my writing skills…)
It’s just the way we work as people. Pain forces us to grow, to make changes, to reconsider our lives in ways that otherwise we wouldn’t. Staying put is comfortable! Your mission in helping others is not to take away the pain a.s.a.p., because that would take away their incentive for learning and growth.
Your mission is to share your expertise and processes with your clients in a way that lets them solve the pain themselves. You deserve to feel good in the process.
To do this, you need boundaries and you need to be open to really hear and feel what they are telling you. No shielding or blocking of people! I don’t believe in those techniques at all. There are deeper, more transformational ways to stay attuned without taking on their problems. Those ways really work, even when everything else doesn’t. I’d love to teach you how.
Because learning how not to hold on to their pain is a win-win for both you and your clients!